We Were Inside Irene And She Made Us Wet

I know a lot of people are disappointed about Hurricane Irene–basically saying that she was as ineffectual as that monstrous orange dress that Beyonce used to announce her pregnancy at the VMA’s. B–congrats on being a mother, but if this is your way of saying that you are going to wear hideous clothes that make you look like an Orangina–newsflash } you have been wearing hideous clothes since you popped out of Tina Knowles Dereon bedazzled cooch. So this is nothing new–just try and stay away from whatever hideous metal studded dental floss booties Tina Knowles attempts to knit for your child.

That was a tangent. More vids after the jump

Since I live in Fidi, I evacuated 2 miles uptown to Hells Kitchen where we sequestered ourselves for two days waiting for a storm that never really came. Ironically enough I was expecting this wknd to be different from most, but we still went out and got completely wasted both nights. You can tell there is a hurricane coming when you have enough room to walk around Industry. Its funny–no matter what is happening outdoors the gays will still be out in force. I swear to God if a zombie apocalypse ever happens, the first place the gays will head is the bar. (I will be heading to an artillery store and a liquor store to arm myself).

But Jmo and I decided that since hurricanes barely ever hit New York–we would leave our phones at home (gasp), drink a handle of cheap vodka, and go out into the storm. We broke into a construction site, climbed down the seawall on the Hudson, took shelter in an abandoned petticab, looted a subway restaurant and laid down in the middle of the West Side highway. Jmo managed to break both our umbrellas by being an idiot–the wind wasn’t even enough to harangue my hair. The funniest part was the drunk ass Jmo pretending he was a serious journalist and trying to make the storm seem worse than it was.

His acting may have caused more devastation to NY than the storm did.

Enjoy. We sure as fuck did.