Unequivocal Evidence That Women Are Delusional About Makeup

The sad truth is, that some women are right. Without makeup some women look like Jenna Jamison’s snizz after a long night with Ron Jeremy (shout-out to adult entertainment’s classics)  But here is the rub – if you look that bad without makeup on then you will only be able to hold your ruse together for so long if you go home with someone. Eventually they are going to happen upon you without any concealer, and when they do you better hope they have early onset cataracts, glaucoma, or the where-with-all to stab their eyes out with hot pokers. So I have composed this little message:

Dear Women who look wretched without makeup,

Think about all the money you have spent on makeup over the years. Between concealer, blush, eyeshadow, liner, lipliner, lipstick, lipgloss, and moisturizer I am sure you have spent a small fortune. You have probably tried every new product on the market and for what? So that people in dark bars won’t know what you really look like? Real beauty comes from knowing exactly what you look like and accepting it. Real beauty comes from inside–where it doesn’t matter what your outside looks like because you know how beautiful your soul is. So stop spending all that needless money on cosmetics, save it up, and get your bitch ass to a plastic surgeon. It just makes more fiscal sense for Christ’s sake.

Y0urs,

Gloganvlog

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