Today’s Craption: Things That Crawled Out Of Charlie Sheen’s Nose
” In a strangely awesome new development in the saga of failing actor Charlie Sheen, this creature was discovered early Friday morning. Resembling a dust bunny, this rabbit-like creature that calls itself Professor Mcgonnegal Duckbones is comprised entirely of cocaine particles and bleached boogers. It appears Charlie Sheen’s addiction has become a sentient being, and continually asks the questions: Wheres the afterparty? Has anyone seen a white girl? and of course: Can a N*gga get some lettuce, shawty?
No word from Mr. Sheen on whether he intends to keep Professor Mcconnegal Duckbones as a pet.”