Today’s Craption: Snooki Polizzi Is One Hot Dead Chick

“Even though Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi was told she was too short to be a model, she still managed to find work posing on the cover of the 2012 HoneyBaked Ham Holiday Catalogue. She was quoted as saying: ‘It’s perfect for me cuz, ya know I just rub myself down wit buttah and go searchin for da beach. 5 hours lata Im brown as a one-uh-tha turds that come out my ass. Honeybaked ham and meze like da perfect combo cause my thighs are as bigaz 35 lb hamz and I like gettin stufft like a thanksgivin turkey’.”

Unfortunately, someone (my money is on Joy Behar)  mistook the pint sized guidette for an actual turkey and put her in the oven for 4 hours at 350 degrees.