The Reason Why We Turned Into Retarded Perverts

Did you ever think about all the books and cartoons we watched when we were kids? I remember a specific episode of He-Man where Frosta purred in her methed out come hither to mine trailer so I can scratch your back with my press-on nicotine nails that she basically wanted He-Man to put it in her frozen asshole. He blushed and ran away. And now I’m gay.

I also remember reading bible stories during nap time about how they took Jezebel and threw her out a window for being a slut. But I couldn’t get over how fierce she looked with her red hair, heavy makeup and chandelearrings. And now I’m gay and a slut.

And take for example this excerpt from the popular children’s book: Dick and Jane underestimate your child’s intelligence.

Tell me that this doesn’t allude to a threesome between three mentally challenged midgets.

Then tell your kids I said good luck.