The Ho-mance That Was Never Meant To Be: Beyonce And Kim Kardashian

I’ll say this for Kim Kardashian: She is a woman that knows what she wants, and when she wants something, her mother is not afraid to go after it. There are some things that tabloids fabricate and exacerbate, and there are some things they don’t. Kim Kardashians desperation to befriend Beyonce is 100% real. Examine the evidence:

She was so desperate to become famous she not only put up with Paris Hilton’s moronic baby prostitute voice, but she adopted it.

Then, she let the entire world see her get railed by a BBD. (Big Black Duck, obviously).

Then, she paraded two of her family’s biggest regrets and secrets (Kourtney, who originally played the female Gremlin in the 15th Gremlin movie) and Khloe (If you don’t see the resemblance between her and King Kong, you should probably scrub the jizz from your eyes) on 13 different reality shows.

And as a result, effectively destroyed the letter “K”. How do you destroy and embarrass a letter in the alphabet? You know that every time “K” shows up at the birthday parties of the other alphabet letters they are all like “How did that desperate bitch get past security? She’s worse than Lindsay Lohan.”

Now, she is dating the biggest, gayest douche-bag that has ever grazed the assholes of Dominican male Weho prostitutes (Kanye West, in case you are living under a cock). You don’t beard for an asshole like Kanye unless you want something in return, and a friendship with Beyonce is the biggest prize of all.

The truth though, is that Beyonce is in an entirely different stratosphere of fame than Kim. She has three things that Kim desperately wants: talent, talent, and a big black ass.

No amount of momaging from Kris Jenner will ever give her that.