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The Face Helen Keller Would Have Made If She Had Seen Her Own Vagina

August 8, 2011

It is in the bible that every girl should look at their own vagina once. If you haven’t, grab your Mary Kate Olsen pressed powder compact, go to the bathroom, squat like a weeping buddha and check out your shituation. If you are lucky it will resemble a hotdog bun. If you are unlucky it may look more like a Philly Cheesesteak. Either way it is important as a woman of the world to know what you are working with–that way you will know why that guy never called you back after your one night stand.

But just remember–It is written into the US constitution that NO VAGINA shall be left behind. Kind of like an asian baby–your vagina may have a face only a mother could love. But love it you must–because there are enough gay guys out there that want to holocaust the hell out of your lady parts. It is your sacred duty to protect it. And if you decide to convert to lesbianism because lesbians only have sex on the full moon and the season premier of The Real L Word–well thats just fine too. More dick for us.

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