The Biggest Penis In The World Gets Frisked By The TSA

I chose this photo because frankly, Jonah Falcon (the man with the largest recorded penis) is more offensive than this dick-bat. His face looks like Jabba the Hut with a bitchin Bieber and  down syndrome. I included a photo below, but fair warning- its proof that God has a sense of humor.

Recently, Jonah Falcon was stopped in the San Francisco airport because he had a suspicious “package” even though he had allegedly strapped his penis to his leg. He told the TSA agents that it was his dick, but apparently they still dusted him with their magic bomb defusing cocaine and questioned him. He stated that from now on, he is going to wear biker shorts to the airport so they can clearly see what he is packing. I say he should just wear a burka, because seeing a dick that big on a man so hideous is just torture for gay men and sex-starved women everywhere. It’s like being super hungry for a foot-long from Subway, but knowing that if you eat it you are going to vomit profusely and need a CDC style decontamination.

Falcon’s member is 9 inches soft, and 13.5 hard. HBO did a dick-mentary on him called Private Dicks: Men exposed.

Anyway, that’s the whole story. Instead of going after terrorists, the TSA is spending their time fondling penises. Got to love our country, right?

Dear God, why?

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