Posts tagged ‘winter’
I really don’t suggest lighting yourself on fire, unless of course you’re about to step in to see Tom Cruise try to act in “Mission Impossible.” In NYC it’s hard to stay warm at times especially when you have the wind cutting down alleys and off the river. Many people are uninformed of how to stay properly warm. And the gays tend to care more about fashion than warmth. Here are some useful tips to keep warm:
2. Drink A LOT of Liquor. Seriously, if you’re trashed you won’t even care about the cold weather and liquor warms your body up. You seriously have a reason to get trashed now every time you step outside!
3. If you don’t drink, get a hot chocolate at Dunkin’ Donuts. That does the job too.
4. Travel with a group and bundle together.
5. Hot Sex. You’ll need to go outside and cool off after this.
6. Don’t wear fur, wear a down jacket if anything.
7. Get Fat
8. Run don’t walk. Yeah the wind might suck but you’ll get exercise and heat up naturally.
9. Don’t go near the Hudson River or down alleys.
10. Go Dancing! The minute you walk out of a club, you’re going to be relieved after dancing for hours.
If you have anymore advice, then please add it in your comments. We would love to hear!
1. The weather will be warm. I am going to lay out so much my skin is going to blacken and sizzle until I look like either Kobe Bryant or Kobe beef.
2. The guys aren’t as jaded. (although I am pretty sure by saying that it makes me jaded) So it will be really easy to have a mini-vacationship and break his heart whenever I leave him thinking my name is Catherine Aragon and I have to go back to my life of supermodeling and running a business designing home furnishings for Raymour and Flannigan. Seriously Cindy Crawford and Cathy Ireland–what do you know about leather sectionals besides how to do lines off one?