Posts tagged ‘williamsburg’
I’m A Hipster On The L Train, I’m From Brooklyn
This sums up most of Williamsburg. In fairness though, I lived off the L train and usually people consider me to be a hipster. However, I heard about this before you, so fuck yourself. I’m an individual!
Gloganvlog Anti-Style : EEEEEK! Hobo Chic
I have to be honest, there have only been a few homeless guys over the years that I have thought about doing sexuals with. They were all young and attractive, and the fact that they were probably desperate enough to do anything for money made it that much hotter. But regarding the photo inserted above: I don’t really like the direction in which this is heading. On the right, William H Macy plays Frank Gallagher in Shameless on Showtime wherein he is basically a deadbeat dad serious alcoholic with like 30 kids who runs around town borrowing money and getting into mischief. On the left, we have Brad Pitt who is one of Hollywoods most sought after dicks, a serious pothead with like 30 kids who runs around town making lesser men feel bad about themselves and women’s vaginas so moist that you could drown a toddler in their granny panties.
The problem here is that I am not seeing one hell of a difference. Hobo chic is not attractive, and unlike skinny jeans, it will never grow on me. Mary Kate Olsen can pull it off because nobody wants to see her skeletal ass wearing a camisole and smart leggings because it would look like a chain-smoking, coffee drinking Jiminy Cricket with a tape-worm. I realize they have been doing the whole hobo-chic thing in Williamsburg for the longest time, but that is why nobody wants to go to Brooklyn. Because it smells like hobo ass.
This hobo-chic trend that Brad Pitt is perpetuating needs to stop before we all end up living in refrigerator boxes and jerking off into stolen Starbucks cups in the public bathrooms.
Like A Douche
They say that patience is a virtue. Unfortunately, they tell ME that it’s not a virtue I possess. Needless to say, I’m not a fan of a lot of the stupidity going on over at the Jersey Shore, elsewhere outside Manhattan – - that means you Williamsburg (hipsters), and specifically by Floridians. So check out this video,
If you are wondering why things have been a little quiet around gloganvlog lately its because all of our writers had a CRAZY FUCKING weekend and are still recovering.
So I’ll jump right in. Friday night hell froze over and Demi Lovato recovered from her eating disorder because I actually stayed in and worked all night. My friend needed help moving saturday morning, so I figured it was as good a night as any to take it easy. What I didn’t realize is that in order to keep the balance of the elements and the world turning, I would have to get completely faced the next day to make up for it. So I met my friend (and a few of his attractive friends as well) Saturday at 9:30 to help him move from Chelsea to Williamsburg. Why you ask? Honestly I have no idea. He is trading muscley queens that brunch all day in tight tank tops for anorexic hipsters that smoke cigarettes at indie concerts in tight jeans. Pick your poison. You are going to die eventually anyway. So we moved him in, all the while I am trying hard not to flirt with a cute guy that has a boyfriend (who I am going to call lil wolfie) –mostly because I am already involved with way too many cute guys that have boyfriends.
Saturday was a Brooklyn shitshow the likes of which I have never remembered. My friend Hambone was in town this weekend–a girl that knew me since 6th grade. A girl that was around when I got my first bowl cut, we celebrated when our home-town first got a GAP, we climbed trees together and she taught me how to shave my armpits–since I had no father around to teach me such things. She was in town for one night only–and we spent it traipsing around Brooklyn. There are some VERY embarrassing pics after the jump. Enjoy. Read more…
Douchenugget Of The Day: Sunglass Ettiquette
Call it a pet peeve, call it an annoyance, call it something that makes me want to scrub off my nipples with a brillo pad but one thing I cannot stand is when people wear sunglasses at inappropriate times of the day. Like for instance when there is no fucking sun!
And btw, just so everyone knows, there is never a sun in the subway. The only reason you should ever wear sunglasses on a train is if you are so hung over that taking them off is going to make you vom. (I have been in this shituation before so I understand.
Wearing sunglasses is inappropriate at times such as:
