Posts tagged ‘wildebeest’
The Best Time Of Day To Have Sex
Remember that hot one-night stand you brought home last week – the one that slept over? Remember the next morning when you woke up and had sex like two rabid wildebeests? Why did this happen you ask, well there are two possible reasons. Either you were still drunk from last night’s tequila shots or your fell victim to being human…
Apparently, when you first wake up your body is supercharged with oxytocin – the chemical that causes love says lia Karatsoreos, PhD, a neuroscientist at Rockefeller University. So next time if you feel like porkin’ in the mornin’, now you know why. Pork away.
Rare Photo Found Of Julia’s Conception
It has long been hypothesized that Julia is the unintentional offspring of a widebeest and a can of Skoll. Now this picture has been found depicting Julia’s mother– a 14 year old lesbian impregnating herself using undergarments that she bought from a “Fill a brown paper bag for 5 bucks” yard sale. 12 months later (Lesbians are even stubborn and anti when it comes to being born) Julia popped out singing a Sarah Mclachlan song and the world hasn’t been the same since.
I did an image search for Julia on Google. The photo I found is after the jump Read more…
Anyone who has ever been close me knows that April Fools Day is the only holiday I take seriously. Its a time for mischief making,bamboozling, bootswaggling, and emotional manipulation. This year I decided to start early as most of my friends are wise to my tricks–so last night at 2 AM I sent out a mass text saying I had an infected tooth and was going to the ER. (the key to a good prank is to inject a bit of the truth. I actually do have a problematic tooth and if karma exists I most likely will die of an infected blood stream). If Gloganvlog randomly shuts down like Chris Brown’s career you will know why.
The award this year for most awesome response goes to Julia. Her wildebeest ass smelled bullshit for brunch from the getgo, and she was not hungry.
The award for most gullible goes to Yellow-a girl who has known me since high school and should have know better.
The Rookie of the Queer award goes to Bryce, for retaliating in jewish anger.
After the jump are various screenshots of my other hijinx, including some from last year. Enjoy irresponsibly.
Things That Creep Me The Fuck Out: Vanessa Hudgens
From now on we are calling her Hudgey–because it is a name as strange, filthy, and unappealing as her. Also it rhymes with pudgy–which I am reasonably sure she would be if she weren’t on a strict diet of denial about Zac Efron’s sexuality. In this photo she looks like an aging post-op tranny that bought their wig at a swap meet and can’t even afford bootleg collagen. Seriously I don’t trust people that don’t have lips. She reminds me of the rectum of a brown recluse. Read more…
