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Posts tagged ‘wheelchair’

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The Pointless, Lazy Inventions Of The Average American

July 25, 2011

Have you ever thought about how many technological devices have been invented to make our lives easier–but in reality are a bit asinine?

People movers- I have been late to catch a flight enough times in my life to know that there is obviously a really good reason for people movers, but come on! Who decided that a long flat stretch of room was so absolutely daunting and horrifying that they needed to put a big moving rubber strip on the side of it? The funny part is that you have choice–you can either take the people mover or walk beside it. Do you want to be a lazy fuck or not?

Wheel chairs- I am talking about voluntary wheel chairs–not the kind that they give to people born with baby tyrannosaur arms and stumpy legs. When I see a morbidly obese person in an electric wheelchair in a mall I think to myself: What was so wrong with HSN that you had to drag yourself to a shopping mall where nothing will really fit you anyway? Is it because chic-fil-a doesn’t deliver?

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