Posts tagged ‘warrior’
Valentines Day Mancandy: Tom Hardy Gives Me A Heart-On
Let me just break it down for you, in case you don’t know. Tom Hardy is the hottest piece of bitch I have ever seen in my entire life. I am dating a hot Brit right now, so I obviously I have a thing for gentlemen from across the pond. If I ever come across Tom Hardy in real life, I will frighten him into a coma by introducing him to a Dentist (it is every British person’s achilles heel in case you didn’t know) and throw him in the bonnet of my Mercury Tracer. I will then drive him out to a farmhouse in the middle of Tranny Nipple, Montana and Misery him so hard for so long that neither of us will ever be seen again.
So this Valentines Day, I present to you a very special Mancandy–the hottest man alive in full glory in every single hot photo of him that I could find on the internet. If you are single, feel free to masturbate to them. If you are attached, feel free to break up.
More photos after the jump. If you don’t look at them every naked cupid baby in the world will lose its wings and its dignity. Because it will shit itself. When it loses its wings. See what I did there? Read more…
Bitchin Body Art: Scars Are Roadmaps Of Our Drunken Nights
I like this tattoo so much I am not even going to say anything funny about it. I think its really cool when people embrace the imperfections on their body and even showcase them–because I believe in things that make a good story and normally if something leaves a physical mark on you it makes a good story.
Okay, I will say something funny.
People often wondered what caused the huge scar on Giuliana Rancic’s hip. She blamed it on being so shocked when she first saw Joan Rivers for the first time that she tripped over Kelly Osbournes gastric bypass and stabbed herself on George Kotsiopoulos’ 12 inch Burberry dildo. The truth is that Giuliana is from a long line of praying Mantis warrior people from the planet of Celebrity Irrelevantis, and she was sent here to procreate and take over the world one fashion show at a time. The scar is from where her praying mantis baby popped out of her when it couldn’t stand listening to her “wit” any longer.
