Posts tagged ‘video’
The Scientific Reasons Behind Why Girls And Gays Get Along
Historically, girls and gays have gone together like Salma Hayek and the Rosetta Stone- they can exist without each other, but alone, neither of them makes that much sense. There are many reasons for hoes to need their homos, ranging from having someone who will listen to your problems without turning your emotional vulnerability into an impromptu afternoon rape, to having someone to talk you through the first time you try anal sex (with your husband, of course. You know the old adage-why buy the cow if it doesn’t come with a bottle of lube?). I believe the main reason that girls and gays get along so swimmingly, is because there is no baggage or bullshit involved.
Many times, when gays befriend other gays, (or girls befriend straight guys) there is a sexual element that can get in the way.
When girls befriend girls, many times they get catty and competitive with each other.
Girls and gays can just be themselves with each other without worrying about penises, vaginas, or competition getting in the way.
According to the scientific lexicon that is my brain, that is the main reason for the girl + gay dynamic. Here are a few others though, that didn’t make it into this video:
NOBODY is born with natural blowjob skills. Giving a beej takes as much practice as anything else, and in some countries (Scott Disick’s man cave) these skills are as revered as those of a Japanese neurosurgeon.
Gays won’t look down on you for having a one night stand. In fact, text a bitch before your walk of shame and I bet they will join you, wearing matching sweatpants with heels, latte in hand.
Gays will be completely honest with you. Feel like you look like a truck-stop transgendered 350 lb lesbian? Want to hear the truth? Girls might be worried about hurting your feelings. Straight guys might be worried they will never get laid again. Gay guys will rip you to shreds and build you back up, much more cutesy than before. So if total honesty is what you are looking for, look no further than the homo down the street.
Read more about girls and gays on TheLuxurySpot.com
Video: What If Girls And Guys Swapped Places At The Bar?
This guy is sporting some serious heavage with those hairy gorilla tits. If you think about it though, its pretty funny how guys go to the bar looking to creep up some strange girl’s manties, and girls go the bar looking to meet a good guy, yet somehow everyone ends up happy in the end (or they must, because they still go, night after night). Its a little bit different in the city, I think because you can sneak away early in the morning without any more interaction (unless you go home with that super cute guy that lives in one of the boroughs, like Westchester. Then you’re on your own, bitch). Anyway, check out this hilarious gender-swap video.
My favorite parts?
“Its a total taco fest in here.”
“Screw your girlfriend, I just need five minutes in the parking lot.”
Do you find that people respond well to your headless grindr picture, but then head for the hills when they see your face? Do you have a well-toned body with tits like boulders and nipples that resemble the fiery kisses of a ginger prince, but your face looks like a burning jack-o-lantern full of dog shit? Are you Anna Paquin? If you answered yes to either of these questions, then maybe you should consider becoming a clown. Here are the reasons why:
1. You can make little kids happy. Now, instead of running away from you in the street screaming “El Diablo” you can make those little Mexican children chortle with glee. Maybe you can even make them pee themselves with laughter. Then, you can poison their candy as revenge for all the years of abuse.
2. Clowns are hot. I know a lot of people (and my people, I mean pussies) out there are scared of clowns, but the truth is there is something hot about someone wearing bright colors, running around like an idiot trying to put out imaginary fires. People that have to act like total idiots for their jobs are normally pretty good in bed. Just ask anyone that works at the DMV.
3. Circuses are full of other unfortunate looking people. I know you may have never thought about it, but maybe that 400 lb elephant woman could warm you up on cool winter night with the smell emanating from under her gargantuan boobs. Maybe the tiger wrangler doesn’t actually fuck his tigers, as is the rumor. Maybe that chick with 4 arms can stimulate your prostate, give you a bad ass handie, massage your shoulders, and make you a sandwich all at the same time!
There is a place in this world for everyone, no matter how ugly your face is. But hey- if clowning around isn’t your thing, you should at least watch this video the next time you find yourself blitzed to the tits.
I actually saw this video a few days ago, but I debated on whether to post it because I don’t want to be blamed for you losing 10 minutes of your life. Also, just like always, while it was beautiful to look at I felt the same way about the “Ride” video that I do about everything Lana Del Rey does: Its a try-too-hardsy wannabe American hipster that somehow manages to suck the joy out of my life just by appearing on my computer screen. That being said, if you like a raspy-voiced poetic diatribe that keeps going and going and going even after your ears are bleeding harder than Lana’s asshole after whatever casting couch experience made her a star, go for it. If you want to see her re-enact the Jodie Foster movie “The Accused” by bending over a pinball machine to get plowed by a man who reminds me way too much of my dad, take a look. Also not to be missed: Lana swinging on a tire swing attached to an invisible tree, Lana chain-smoking ironically by a gas pump, and Lana making angry honey-badger faces while being chase-raped around the desert by men in wife-beaters and denim. Oh, and she fucks a senator.
If that isn’t the American dream, then I don’t know what the fuck is.
Game Changer: A Popular Rapper Finally Raps About Equal Rights
Macklemore and Ryan Lewis Featuring Mary Lambert:
Same Love
Follow the cut for the very thought provoking, emotional, and really catchy fucking song/video.
Video: “The Most Popular Girls In School” Goes Gay
The Most Popular Girls In School Video: Shay Van Buren And Deandra’s Pooping Privileges
“It smells like someone put a diabetic foot in a diaper and left it out in the sun.”
If you don’t watch this, and love it, then you should probably never come back to this site again. This is installment #3 of the Most Popular Girls in School videos. It is an accurate representation of my life, as my friends and I also talk in bootleg bitchy-girl-speak that nobody (even us, sometimes) under-fucking-stands. Follow Mackenzie Zales on twitter and blow up her Youtube views.
She’s a cheerleader, homecoming queen, part time model.
Watch the previous two videos here and here, or your tits will fall off and crumble to dust.
How To Keep Your Baby From Becoming A Stripper
Okay, I don’t really have advice on keeping your baby from becoming a stripper. Just don’t name her Amber, China, or Crystal. BOOM.
You know its not like me to get too personal, but today I am going to share something extremely personal with you. My Niece Feeny. Just like every member of the Randall Clan, Feeny was born with a certain level of awesomeness that is either going to lead to a long, awesome life full of great stories or a few shaky stints in rehab and a tell-all memoir about her life on the streets. She is the kind of kid that wants to smash glass Christmas balls in her hand, and has never met an electrical outlet that she didn’t like. Luckily, my sister is an ever vigilant Capricorn and an expert at keeping her alive. Anyway, This video showcases the little feenster’s natural born talent for attracting undue attention at urban nightclubs. Enjoy.
Drag Queens Sing About Chick-Fil-A. Amazing!
What could be better than 3 drag queens singing about Chick-Fil-A, I mean really?
I know that one day, people are going to look back at the days when gay people couldn’t get married and feel like fools for opposing it. One day it is going to seem as ridiculous as opposing interracial dating. Unfortunately, that day isn’t today. So until then stories like this have to be told.
