Posts tagged ‘vagina cupcakes’

I took one look at this photo and was so thoroughly disgusted by it that I decided I needed to challenge myself. I will come up with one reason to hate vagina for every cupcake on this platter. If I don’t succeed may my gayness burn away like a yeast infection after being douched by the fiery waters of Summers Eve.

1. Serial killers come out of vaginas.

2. They sometimes smell like chowder, sushi, battery acid, or Taylor Momsen.

3. They ruin white pants.

4. They ruin one week out of every month.

5. I have gotten way too many sobbing phone calls from friends who might be pregnant.

6. They are in direct competition with my asshole for the attention of men.

7. They remind me of the well that the little creepy bitch from The Ring crept out of.

8. They don’t hurt as much as balls do when you kick them. Unfair.

9. They hide behind pubic hair like a patch of quicksand. Do you know how scary quicksand is? It’ll swallow yo ass! Not your ass. Yo ass.

10. Yeast infections make me not want to eat bread.

11. Kanye West came out of a vagina.

12. Kanye West pretends to like vaginas. Read more…