Posts tagged ‘turkey’
Gloganvlog PSA: Don’t Eat the Mistletoe
Yes Mistletoe is pretty, yes it’s a good excuse to kiss that hot sailor you’ve been crushing on, and yes it can f*cking kill you.
Ok fine I exaggerated a little bit, Mistletoe won’t kill you but I definitely wouldn’t recommend eating it. It can cause some serious gastrointestinal issues, slow your heart rate, and cause palpitations. So unless you you want to be on the toilet crapping out Uncle Billy’s special deep-fried turkey giblets for hours on end – please don’t eat the mistletoe.
Today’s Craption: Snooki Polizzi Is One Hot Dead Chick
“Even though Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi was told she was too short to be a model, she still managed to find work posing on the cover of the 2012 HoneyBaked Ham Holiday Catalogue. She was quoted as saying: ‘It’s perfect for me cuz, ya know I just rub myself down wit buttah and go searchin for da beach. 5 hours lata Im brown as a one-uh-tha turds that come out my ass. Honeybaked ham and meze like da perfect combo cause my thighs are as bigaz 35 lb hamz and I like gettin stufft like a thanksgivin turkey’.”
Unfortunately, someone (my money is on Joy Behar) mistook the pint sized guidette for an actual turkey and put her in the oven for 4 hours at 350 degrees.
