Posts tagged ‘tour’

I have read several articles recently about how Britney Spears is doing great things on her new tour. I have read sentences that state that she has a bodacious new “bod.”

Frankly I am offended. The only thing she has changed is that she finally f0und a weavologist who didn’t smoke so much meth that they sent her out of the trailer park in the morning  with hair they retrieved from her butter clogged storm drain.

I have seen a recent video of her so called “improved” dancing skills. And I recognize it. Its the dance I do when JMO secretly spikes my shot with a crushed up vicodin after I’ve taken a muscle relaxer to deal with the pain from laying in bed all the time writing this shit.

The only thing I will say in her favor is that she ended up with the same life she would have had if she had never became famous. She still married someone who would wear a wifebeater to a wedding, still popped out a few buck-tooth mulleted children that practically rode out of her cooch on a refurbished four wheeler with a parliament light in one hand and a nattie ice in the other.

I respect a person who stays true to their roots. But I don’t want to see it stumble around on stage in front of millions of people.