Posts tagged ‘taquitos’
Bitchin Body Art: Nikki Napalm’s Nips
Nikki Napalm always had self esteem issues with the fact her breasts were different sizes. Speaking mathematically, the difference was as follows: Her left Haireola was to her right Haireola as a manhole cover is to a buffalo penny. So she decide to detract and diver the attention from her Zellweger’s by getting a full sleeve full color tattoo of all her favorite things: sugar coated ecstasy, Katy Perry’s style, Gambling, Taquito’s from 7-11, and strange cock. The joke was on her though–what Nikki couldn’t see was the dramatic difference in the size of her butt cheeks.
And she never figured out why she had such debilitating scoliosis.
Today’s Craption: Mariah Carey Gives Birth!
“Mariah Carey was especially excited when she heard she was having twins. But when triplets popped out of her overly photoshopped boozebucket she squealed for joy. Then she took a closer look. She had given birth to many phen-phen babies, flan-children, indian-food infants and taquito-tots (read: she is fat and deuces a lot) but this was entirely different. These little pig-nuggets were still edible. So she ate them. Then she disappeared back into the mists of the Apalachians to re-join her people: A swarthy tribe of hairy bigfoot monsters that can communicate with dolphins.”
Too far?
