Posts tagged ‘stupid hoe’

Reasons why this ring is awesome:

1. Every single time someone asks you if you have a light, instead of getting offended that they think you look and sound like someone who has smoked two packs a day for 30 years and works behind the register at a gas station, you can light their cigarette or doobie with your middle finger.

2. Arson.

3.At Nicki Minaj’s next concert, Little Kim can go in-cog-negro as a white woman (all she would have to do is throw on a Raquel Welch blond sassy bob and say her name is Florence after all that fucking skin bleaching. She can say she has cancer as an excuse to get on stage, and light Nicki’s hair on fire. If she turns the ring upside-down nobody will ever find it and the cops and religious officials will think that God finally just smited Nicki for saying Stupid Hoe 40,000 times in one song (which, in our opinion actually makes her a stupid hoe).

4. Kim Richards can use it to melt down her meth in one of Lisa Vanderpump’s 30 bathrooms so that she can mix it with her vodka tonic because frankly, that is the only way anyone will ever believe that the only problem she has is with alcohol. Have we ever considered that perhaps childhood stardom is a form of natural selection?

Monserat lighter ring available HERE