Posts tagged ‘straight girls’
Some Pertinent Information: Lesbians And Their Boxes
This graphic accurately represents what I believe to be the state of lesbianism today. One lesbian finds a super special box (mostly a straight girl) that she wants to take home, dress up in flannel, marry, uhaul, overhaul, adopt with, and then break the fuck up only to remain best friends/jealous exes for life. Then, the ears of all the other lesbos around perk up like Scooby Fuckin Doo and they all start acting especially bad-ass. To them I want to say: “That box only seems so amazing because it belongs to another lesbian, you selfish bastard-woman.” But I can’t because this is just a hypothetical lesbian, not a real carpet-muncher.
Lesbians aren’t slick about it either. If you have ever seen one in action, you know its like National Geographic. When they get around someone they are interested in (most often a straight girl that just broke up with Read more…
Reasons Straight Girls Scare Me
First and formost, I love girls. I love them. Sometimes I feel it’s some sick joke God played, churning out a homo back in 84′. But this is my one annoyance with straight girls. WHY GOD WHY IS GETTING MARRIED THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD TO YOU?!?!?!?!?!
I cannot tell you how many times I have had to sit through a gut wrenching conversation about a wedding, dress shopping, brides maid bullshit, bachelorette parties – the list goes on and on. No one cares. No one cares about anything at a wedding but an OPEN BAR.
Today, I woke up, flipped on the IV I normally have linked to People.com and discovered that Kim Kardashian (‘s giant ass) is getting married. To her beau of SIX, YES SIX!, months. What’s the reason for the whirl wind romance? She’s thirty. To be thirty, female and single is equivalent to being a a homosexual Read more…
