Posts tagged ‘stem cells’
Did You Use A Condom? Shit Girls Say To Gay Guys
It appears this Shit …. say to ….. is too hot to ignore right now, but I am trying to be selective about what I post, because as you know I am a very selective and picky person and definitely haven’t cocked over 560 people. This video is by a friend of a friend named Danny Fernandez. So watch the fuckin thing. You would be surprised about how true it is.
While we are on the subject, here are a few things I would like to see:
- Shit Madonna says to her child boyfriend before she uses his still attached umbilical cord for a stem cell facial.
- Shit Tyra Banks says to the mirror in the morning before her morning fiercely real regimen.
- Shit Mel Gibson says to his lost career, blackened Cajun lungs, and impending bitch tits. Read more…
Sink Your Teeth Into My Weiner
This is what Elizabeth Hurley eats for lunch–the embrionic stem cells of the baby weiner dog–also known as cockalophagi caninus contains incredible amino acids that help erase crows feet and rejuvenate the vagina. One Weiner dog a day can effectively take 20 years off your appearance within seconds. Given this equation–about three weeks of this diet and Elizabeth Hurley should look roughly 60 years old. (read: she is so old she babysat Jesus).
I know what you want to say: This isn’t Florida, Gary.
I get that New York isn’t Florida. But I still am. And as long as I still have perky tits and weigh less than 100 lbs sopping wet I will wear a wifebeater whenever I want, do you hear me Oprah on the Color Purple?
So we started out the night late at my friend Mason’s house. He spent the entire pregame trying coyly to get his twink boyfriend to have a threesome with the twink friend they had invited over. I kept trying to sit as close as possible to the twinks, hoping some of their stem cells would rub off and get into my eyes.
Then I found out one of the twinks was a virgin. For future reference–nobody ever tell me that again. I will make it my personal mission that you get plowed. Read more…
