Posts tagged ‘sex with celebrities’
Dear Tom Hardy, Will You Sign My A$$hole?
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Why do we even bother getting autographs anymore? We sit in the restaurant trying to be nonchalant about taking photos with our phone until we get up the nerve to walk over to Adrian Grenier and ask him to write his fucking name on a napkin.
His name.
To me, it makes more logical sense to ask him to stir my Shirley Temple with his cock. But thats just science.
The real unsung heroes in our society are the people desperate enough to throw themselves at celebrities, only to wake up in the morning bent over the port-a toilet of a tour-bus with roofie breath, a sequined skirt around their neck, a new reason to visit the abortion clinic, (it is probably just a backup dancer’s baby anyway) and a concussion from being donkeypunched by an electric guitar.
