Posts tagged ‘selena gomez’
These eyebrow-less celebrities speak to my soul. Here is what they say:
Angelina Jolie: I waxed my face with Pine Sol, and buffed my eyebrows to nubs. Now, my forehead is more slippery than a ski-slope. No more rug-burns when I play motorboat the muff doggie-style with Cambodian lesbians.
Anna Paquin: I am going to eat your fucking soul. Because I am a Harlequin baby.
Anne Hathaway: My father was an albino man and my mother was a titmouse. They were biological twins.
Mila Kunis: I am absolutely not fucking Ashton Kutcher.
Mila Kunis: He’s fucking me. So suck it, turd-smugglers. Read more…
It appears this Shit …. say to ….. is too hot to ignore right now, but I am trying to be selective about what I post, because as you know I am a very selective and picky person and definitely haven’t cocked over 560 people. This video is by a friend of a friend named Danny Fernandez. So watch the fuckin thing. You would be surprised about how true it is.
While we are on the subject, here are a few things I would like to see:
- Shit Madonna says to her
child boyfriend before she uses his still attached umbilical cord for a stem cell facial.
- Shit Tyra Banks says to the mirror in the morning before her morning fiercely real regimen.
- Shit Mel Gibson says to his lost career, blackened Cajun lungs, and impending bitch tits. Read more…
“Little Katie Cranson was so excited about her first training bra and going to see Selena Gomez in Exotic Callgirls of Waverly Place, Nevada that she didn’t even realize that her Grandmammy Heather Locklear was getting Handsy. But the real embarrassment came when she got up and realized she had been sitting on Grandmammy’s nipples.”
Submit your awkward family photos to firstname.lastname@example.org