Posts tagged ‘ryan gosling’
Look, I know that Ryan Gosling is a thing right now, and everyone is talking about how they want him to smash their smussies, but have you ever stopped to wonder what the attraction is? You can only take so many swarthy, squinty eyed, lightly bearded hipster photos before you are finally revealed for the down syndrome butterface that you are. I believe that Ryan Gosling is a product of super intelligent marketing, starting with that horrible chick flick The Notebook that I couldn’t bear to sit through even though Rachel McAdams could S my D any day (figuratively of course). He’s a decent enough looking guy, but with enough hours in the gym, the right haircut, and the right public relations team he has become a sex symbol to girls and gays everywhere.
I bet in reality he smells like a fucking burnt tire factory filled with dirty diapers from Indian babies.
That being said, I’d still hit it.
Let me start this by saying, I am no stranger to the sauce. I am also no stranger to puking, acting a fool, or generally being a mess. However, not once in my life have I ever fucking puked inside of a bar. I have puked in the air, in the bushes at 8am, in multiple sinks, in paper bags, in my friend’s backseat, and probably on a few people faces. But I take that shit outside. Working at a sink or swim bar every Saturday, has really enlightened me on just how fucking stupid people are. So I’d like to give these dumb mother fuckers some tips on etiquette when it comes to being in a bar.
I’m just going to come out and say it. I am attracted to dumb guys. I don’t know whether it is because I like to be the smarter one (which rarely happens) or if there is just something about someone with downward sloping eyes that just calls to me and says take advantage of me – I won’t even realize you are doing it. (which by the way this goes for sex too).
Or maybe its because I am from a small town in Florida and was raised to appreciate a man who can change a carbeurator (sp) and beat his wife simultaneously. No matter how you rape it, we here at Gloganvlog are super attracted to Ryan Gosling. I know in real life (just like Ryan Kwanten) he Read more…