Posts tagged ‘royal wedding’
This is the mind-fuck of the day. I am not that surprised that Prince William looks like Prince Charming (aka, prince blind retard that would marry someone with boob-sweat just because they fit into a size 11 Jimmy Choo) because maybe he is wearing some kind of royal ceremonial outfit that Disney ripped off.
Beatrice and Eugenie have some explaining to do. I am technically hanging out with/seeing/screwing a hot British guy right now and I don’t even think he has an explanation for this. One of them is wearing a dress the color of Vanity Smurf’s misbegotten dingle-berries (that he shaved off when he realized he was a bottom) and the other is wearing a dress that is literally Read more…
First and formost, I love girls. I love them. Sometimes I feel it’s some sick joke God played, churning out a homo back in 84′. But this is my one annoyance with straight girls. WHY GOD WHY IS GETTING MARRIED THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD TO YOU?!?!?!?!?!
I cannot tell you how many times I have had to sit through a gut wrenching conversation about a wedding, dress shopping, brides maid bullshit, bachelorette parties – the list goes on and on. No one cares. No one cares about anything at a wedding but an OPEN BAR.
Today, I woke up, flipped on the IV I normally have linked to People.com and discovered that Kim Kardashian (‘s giant ass) is getting married. To her beau of SIX, YES SIX!, months. What’s the reason for the whirl wind romance? She’s thirty. To be thirty, female and single is equivalent to being a a homosexual Read more…
Inevitably, if you are an attractive gay guy (aren’t we all, Julia?) you will eventually get tired of bathroom blowjobs and end up in a relationship. Then you will try to include your best friends in your life as much as possible, but find that you just don’t care as much to hang out with them because you are preoccupied with your regular schedule of dicking, long morning talks, finding innovative new dates to go on, and getting jealous any time someone attractive posts something on their facebook wall. Eventually your friends won’t really want to hang around you as much either–because you just aren’t as fun when you are constantly either keeping tabs on someone, trying not to get too wasted to respect them, or waiting for texts so you have proof that they aren’t cheating on you while you are out separately, or uploading pics that show you having a good time without them–when in fact you are aren’t. And neither are your friends.