Posts tagged ‘Reese Witherspoon’

In the third and final installment of the Sex and the City epic trilogy of drunken slutility (thats slut + senility) entitled SATC 3: Descent into Incontinence, Carrie and the girls venture out into the country in search of two things:

1. Samantha’s forehead, which she has altered and enhanced so much that it developed artificial intelligence and splintered off into its own sentient being that resembles Reese Witherspoon when she played that retard in Whats Eating Gilbert Grape. It is shown in the picture to the left feeding Carrie sugar cubes just before Charlotte tackles it and adopts it.

2.Carrie’s Manolo Blahniks, which got so fed up with conforming to her bunion covered hoof-like feet that they secretly conspired with a fame hungry glue factory in Penny Farthing, Iowa and have lured Carrie and the girls there to put them out to pasture. From sexy farm hands losing their lunch after seeing Samantha’s sagging sandbags to Miranda’s long afternoon rides on the tractor smoking a Marlboro red and drinking Hennessey this movie has it all. Except youth and a relateable audience. Since their relateable audience lives in a nursing home and is too busy being abused by the staff to care about these poor old hags.