Posts tagged ‘Reese Witherspoon’
Today’s mancandy comes from England, Australia, Thailand, or wherever the fuck Michael Fassbender is from. He first flew onto our radars in Xmen: First Class where he played a clean-cut villain with extreme #jewishissues. I remember thinking: he is pretty hot, but not super edgy. Then, I saw him in a few more roles and photos and my attitude has completely changed.
Michael Fassbender has the sort of “step-daddy is methed out of his mind and molesting me on the couch Reese Witherspoon as Vanessa Lutz in her breakout role in Freeway” sexiness that anybody, male or female can appreciate.
As it turns out, I was wrong; Read more…
In the third and final installment of the Sex and the City epic trilogy of drunken slutility (thats slut + senility) entitled SATC 3: Descent into Incontinence, Carrie and the girls venture out into the country in search of two things:
1. Samantha’s forehead, which she has altered and enhanced so much that it developed artificial intelligence and splintered off into its own sentient being that resembles Reese Witherspoon when she played that retard in Whats Eating Gilbert Grape. It is shown in the picture to the left feeding Carrie sugar cubes just before Charlotte tackles it and adopts it.
2.Carrie’s Manolo Blahniks, which got so fed up with conforming to her bunion covered hoof-like feet that they secretly conspired with a fame hungry glue factory in Penny Farthing, Iowa and have lured Carrie and the girls there to put them out to pasture. From sexy farm hands losing their lunch after seeing Samantha’s sagging sandbags to Miranda’s long afternoon rides on the tractor smoking a Marlboro red and drinking Hennessey this movie has it all. Except youth and a relateable audience. Since their relateable audience lives in a nursing home and is too busy being abused by the staff to care about these poor old hags.
Wednesday isn’t called HUMP DAY for nothing! What the hell is wrong with Taylor Swift?! First, she messes things up with Taylor Lautner and now she (& Reese Witherspoon*) couldn’t make it work with this hottie?! I’ve found my drug of choice and Read more…