Posts tagged ‘Pot’
Heres the deal. I don’t give a fuck if you smoke. I don’t think it should be illegal. I think it’s incredibly stupid that drinking is legal while smoking pot is a criminal offense. Let’s be real, you’re a better driver when you’re high. Even if you are only going 17 miles an hour and you think the same song has been on for 29 minutes. The problem is when you need to brag about it. What are you in fucking middle school? The only people who brag about smoking live in trailer parks.
If it is, Happy 4/20. I know that in high school and college 4/20 was a thing because it was the one day where everyone that smoked weed united, and feasted, and was jolly. Now that I am out of college I know that if everyone who smoked weed celebrated on one day, the entire world economy would crumble in on itself, and sales of doritos/sour cream/pickles/cayenne pepper/and hot dogs (all together, baked for 45 minutes at 500 degrees) would skyrocket. Hell, maybe it would create its own new economy.
My point is, pretty much everyone has or does smoke weed. So celebrating 4/20 is like celebrating being human, or having sex with over 100 people. Much like AIDS, has 4/20 become a way of life?
1. If your name is Quindarious Gooch, clearly your parents are huge pot-heads. Celebrate this by buying and smoking as much weed as possible.
2.Get an ostentatious haircut, so that when you are high and paranoid in public you can look at yourself in store windows and laugh so hard that smoke streams out of your asshole.
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Have you had your Weedies today kids? I sure hope so because according to a new study out of Jerusalem marijuana can actually make you smarter! I have done A LOT of pot…. research and have found a plethora (love that word) of similar studies to the one from Jerusalem.
A scientist from Saskatchewan injected a bunch of mice with a synthetic chemical that very closely resembles THC (lucky little bastards). It turns out that this chemical increased their brain cell growth; put that in your bong and smoke it.
And if all of this wasn’t enough let me drop another nugget of knowledge on ya – THC also significantly slows the progression of Alzheimer’s disease by blocking the formation of certain plaques that can clog up your bran!
So next time you can’t pass that final exam, figure out the square root of pi, or the next time you just want to feel a little smarter you go ahead and smoke yourself some pot – your brain will thank you.