Posts tagged ‘orlando’
The 3 people behind me are talking about how the lesbian in the ballcap got tittyfucked even though her nickname is “A Cup”
Gay Days this year was just too.many.things. In the interest of protecting my group of friends from all the debauchery that we got into, and also because frankly, I don’t remember all of who did what, I will be referring to everyone in an extremely vague way.
The official mascot of Gay Days 2012 (we elect one for every holiday) was Rose McGowan. I will explain that in a post later today.
So we started off the weekend in a torrential downpour (which never surprises me since god always makes it rain on gay holidays) so we ate at Planet Hollywood. When I walked in, drunk, they asked me if I was “wet” but I heard “white” so we started off on a racist note. We got shitfaced on Belvedere and nicknamed ourselves The Gram Crackahs. Then we checked into a fucking amazing super suite with panoramic views, 3 bedrooms, and a jacuzzi tub. A few of us immediately started popping adderral. I threw on the skankiest bathing suit I could find and headed over to the host hotel to hang out with friends. One of us started stockpiling adderrall on the first day. This lead to him/her singing songs by Elton John and/or The Lion King Soundtrack in the living room for hours and a bedroom drawer full of leftover pills (which is surprising since at one point, to rally, he took 7 of them at 9 AM).
At Parliament house before we started running away from the laser beams cause we thought they were gonna mess up our hair.
Several of us got super fucked up and hung out on the balcony until 7 AM, when we went inside and found that another one of us had overflowed (is that proper grammar? It was at the time) the jacuzzi jets in the bathroom. We all immediately jumped into the tub too and had a bubble fight. At one point, JMO swallowed a shit ton of bubbles and had a panic attack. Nadia and I just scoffed and said “Get yo shit togeffer squrl” which I am pretty sure is some version of gay ebonics, and kept drinking.
You’re welcome JMO.
Those two strange bands of light on my leg are daylight. Day. Muthafuggin. Light.
Typhoon Lagoon was totally awesome this year. For those of you who don’t know, they open the Typhoon Lagoon water park at night, for a huge circuit party. It is unbelievable. One of us bought tickets for everyone ahead of time so we actually ended up with an extra (which we gave to a random person in line-hoping to buy our way into heaven, or at least off the one way train- track to AIDStown, USA). One of us made out with a super old guy in line who promptly removed all his clothes. In line. To purchase a locker, within which to put his clothes.
Two of us made a game of seeing if we could Read more…
A band of traveling gypsy drag queens have been arrested in Orlando, Florida (of course) because they were stealing many drag-related items from local fabric stores across the state. Their pilfering finally came to an end when they were discovered at none other than Jo-ann Fabrics stuffing the following items into their handbags: Five packs of black feathers, two packs of red feathers, two packs of red lace gloves, two packs of black red lace gloves, eyelashes, five bra pads, five butt pads, five gel inserts, three other handbags, two boas, three pairs of costume glasses, and ten bandannas.
After reading this story I had flashbacks to my college days with Gary and Nick Mac driving home with eye-liner flying out if the back seat of my 94 Toyota Corolla. Then after my flashbacks ended I realized how truly proud I am to be a Floridian.
This sweet piece of bitch is our new gloganvlog super-crush. Hailing from Orlando, this gingery sex beast is named Craigery Morgan. And he is our dream guy. Why do you ask? Because he is hot and funny. And that combination of traits in a gay guy is harder to come by than a condom in a nursing home. Enjoy the pics and vids. We sure did. More pics after the jump.
I lived in Orlando.