Posts tagged ‘one-night stand’
The Best Time Of Day To Have Sex
Remember that hot one-night stand you brought home last week – the one that slept over? Remember the next morning when you woke up and had sex like two rabid wildebeests? Why did this happen you ask, well there are two possible reasons. Either you were still drunk from last night’s tequila shots or your fell victim to being human…
Apparently, when you first wake up your body is supercharged with oxytocin – the chemical that causes love says lia Karatsoreos, PhD, a neuroscientist at Rockefeller University. So next time if you feel like porkin’ in the mornin’, now you know why. Pork away.
It is in the bible that every girl should look at their own vagina once. If you haven’t, grab your Mary Kate Olsen pressed powder compact, go to the bathroom, squat like a weeping buddha and check out your shituation. If you are lucky it will resemble a hotdog bun. If you are unlucky it may look more like a Philly Cheesesteak. Either way it is important as a woman of the world to know what you are working with–that way you will know why that guy never called you back after your one night stand. Read more…
You Two-Faced Bitch
If you were to see me out, or read about me you’d think I’m a slutty, snorting, diet pill-popping club drunk.
When in reality, I’ve been with 8 people my whole life, have been dating someone for a month I’ve yet to sleep with, done the white candy about 10 times to date and diet via eating healthy and exercising (tho I pop a lil’ Xenadrine now and then to help my diet – which is exactly what it’s used for – I gained a good 10 pounds over winter).
Am I a drunk? Hell yes, sister. You can bet your sweet tits I down a bottle of vodka Friday and Saturday nights and dance my face off all weekend.
But which version of me is more appealing? The wild party slut, or the more realistic one who goes to the gym, works 9-5 and has never had a one-night stand?
In my early twenties I struggled with the fact that I wasn’t as wild, sexually and drug-wise, as most. But the older I get the more I respect the fact that something in me keeps me from crossing certain lines. Because no one wants to be typical.
And you should never give in to pressures to be typical, unless that is what you really want.
I’m about to down a bottle of wine and go to bed. Peace girls.
