Posts tagged ‘nicki minaj’
Meanwhile in 2047….
The Queen Takes Her Throne
She came. She conquered. Then I came.
I don’t know about you. But I would probably not be gay if it wasn’t for Madonna. At the age of five I would dance to “Material Girl” wearing my Mom’s heels and bra. I mean did I REALLY need to come out after that?
The Giants may have won the superbowl but as soon as I heard the finger snaps that would be the beginning of Vogue, I forgot there was even a football game going on. At 53 She chewed up that football field more than any player wearing a helmet. Simply She F**ing R-O-C-Ked. Read more…
The Madonna Monster: Nicki Minaj And M.I.A Better Watch Their Backs
When it comes to pop stars, Madonna is basically like King Midas, except that everything she touches turns to bald, chain-smoking, fat white trash. Madonna was born with a super power, much like Katy Perry’s power to turn everything into douche, or Zooey Deschanel’s power to give guys with glasses and braces hard-ons. If you fuck with Madonna ( I am talking to you, Elton) she will come for you. She won’t do it in a traditional sense, because her days of blowing guys in bus stop bathrooms and then shanking them for $20 are long over (by about 147 years). Nowadays, Madonna comes for you mentally. She inserts herself into your head through her songs, and then drives you to revert back to your true nature. For Britney, it was becoming an extra on MTV’s Teen Mom. For Christina, it was giving in to her latina roots, and allowing her thighs to become the size of Buicks.
Now that Madonna has duped poor innocent Nicki Minaj and M.I.A. into her Gimme all your Luvin video that is airing at the superbowl, it is only a matter of time before Nicki Minaj dies in Read more…
Gloganvlog Style: The Monserat Lighter Ring
Reasons why this ring is awesome:
1. Every single time someone asks you if you have a light, instead of getting offended that they think you look and sound like someone who has smoked two packs a day for 30 years and works behind the register at a gas station, you can light their cigarette or doobie with your middle finger.
2. Arson.
3.At Nicki Minaj’s next concert, Little Kim can go in-cog-negro as a white woman (all she would have to do is throw on a Raquel Welch blond sassy bob and say her name is Florence after all that fucking skin bleaching. She can say she has cancer as an excuse to get on stage, and light Nicki’s hair on fire. If she turns the ring upside-down nobody will ever find it and the cops and religious officials will think that God finally just smited Nicki for saying Stupid Hoe 40,000 times in one song (which, in our opinion actually makes her a stupid hoe).
4. Kim Richards can use it to melt down her meth in one of Lisa Vanderpump’s 30 bathrooms so that she can mix it with her vodka tonic because frankly, that is the only way anyone will ever believe that the only problem she has is with alcohol. Have we ever considered that perhaps childhood stardom is a form of natural selection?
Monserat lighter ring available HERE
New Celebrity Feud: Nicki Minaj Versus Lady Gaga?
Some times something just slaps you right in the face so hard that you can’t possibly ignore it. Sort of like when you are in a Rest Stop bathroom and somehow end up on your knees giving blowies to truckers that tip you with state flower keychains and denim jackets. As well all know, the Madonnagaga feud has been going on for a while now. Beyonce has been accused of ripping off every major artist for the last decade. It is pretty fucking obvious that the entire music industry is derivative of itself over, and over again. But then someone smart comes along and makes a statement about it. Perhaps this someone dresses like a person with a serious addiction to sniffing glue. Perhaps this person’s wigs come to the Ricky’s after Halloween bargain bin sale and their makeup is obviously colorful lead paint. Maybe this person has a thousand different personalities and none of them seem that pleasant. Regardless, I think Nicki Minaj is either:
A) Batshit.
B) Trying to leech off of the Madonnagaga publicity since nobody cares that she is the new Little Kim anymore.
C) She is making a statement that inspiration comes from all sorts of places, and Read more…
Jenna Marbles As Nicky Minaj: On Dating
Let The Official Lady Gaga Backlash Commence!
Those of you who know me, know that I am not a super-typical gay. Yes, I do cock around with men, and I attend gay events such as Gay Days, Circuit parties, and Church. I am not an avid Madonna or Bette Midler fan, however. And Lady Gaga sometimes makes me want to peel my eyelids off with an orange juicer. Recently, Lady Gaga has parted ways with her creative director, so I think its the perfect time for the official Lady Gaga backlash to commence! Here are the reasons why:
1. People always call Lady Gaga an artist, but the truth is, in order to get ready for a concert she just bathes herself in Gorilla Glue and lets the gays around her throw random objects at her body, seeing which ones will stick.
2. She has started this fad for pop artists everywhere to just dress as bat-shit crazy as they want. Katy Perry and Nicki Minaj are two examples of #thingsthatfelloutofgagasvagina and while I love Nicki’s music, she looks like a muppet that got raped up the ass by Grimace. Don’t even get me started on Katy Perry. You want to do something crazy? Do it the classy way like Read more…
