Posts tagged ‘martha stewart’
Beyonce, because she decided to break into Nicki Minaj’s closet and wear one of her wigs as a dress. Besides, obviously when you have just pushed a baby out of your gine you should cover all your stretch marks by wearing something as black and transparent as the fact that you DIDN’T JUST PUSH A BABY OUT OF YOUR GINE.
Lana Del Rey, just because she’s Lana Del Rey. She wore the cape to cover the big old stick that is protruding from her ass, which has gotten so heavy she had to attach a wheel to it like a fucking Radio Flyer. Del Rey is so desperate for street cred she pulled a Victoria Beckham, and sucked on a lemon dipped in cocaine all night so she wouldn’t accidentally smile. Props to her for Read more…
Photoshop Fucktuppery: The Unicorns Deserved Extinction
I am going to just start randomly listing all the things that are wrong with this photo. Feel free to agree with me.
1. There is nothing really sexy about a unicorn. If unicorns existed they would just prance around all day farting glitter. They would be the worst kind of gay guy–the gay for the sake of being gay super flaming homo that insists on starving down to 100 lbs, subsisting on a diet of meth and parliament lights, driving a 93 Pontiac Grand Prix littered with old bags from McDonald’s, and being called Lil Mama while they are being pounded by a 37 year old jazz choreographer they met at a “video store”.
2. This guy looks like a catfish. If he was underwater and made this face he would be able to collect plankton without even trying. I am going scalloping today with my brother-in-law. If I see anything resembling this guy under that water I am going to set the Gulf of Mexico on fire. Read more…
Lets All Go To The Hooker Convention
Via Fanboy
Here is the equation I am working with. Nerds are Smart. Smart people make money. Money buys attractive dumb people.
So why is it that at Comic Conventions all the girls are 7′s at best? I have never been to one, but my proof is as follows:
I truly believe that if really attractive girls attended comic conventions there would be more photos out there. If you google it, you might see some decent faces but you will also see a butterface or 10. And some huge thighs draped in oiled spandex.
Just Like Natalie Portman, We All Hump The Bed
And by hump the bed, I mean we all have a dark side and a light side. No, this isn’t another post about racism (for once). I mean that every one of us has the propensity to go good, and the inclination towards evil.
Anybody who says otherwise is either a hyper-christian, a politician or Dina Lohan.
BTW the photo to my left is from this weekend. A friend and I had the crackpot idea to dress up like the black and white swan to go out in Brooklyn Saturday night. Needless to say there was a horrible accident involving a sparkly size 11 smart pump and it didn’t happen, which sucks because it would have been a great example of me showing another side of myself–the darkest one of all–the tranny side. Read more…
