Posts tagged ‘marrying your cousin’

7 minutes before Daisy takes a rape shower.

In an unsurprising turn of events, North Carolina ruled that it is now legal for consenting adults to enter into a marriage contract with their canine counterparts. The ruling came in light of the recent ban on gay marriage. Spokespersons from the state alleged that they were in favor of any kind of marriage between heterosexual couples, however same-sex human-canine marriage licenses would not be issued. Their reasoning was as follows:

It doesn’t say anywhere in the bible that humans shouldn’t marry dogs, but it does say that men shouldn’t lay with other men as they do women.  This makes total sense, since that is possible and all. That is why, every time I fuck a guy I do it in their vagina. As we all know, the federal government is in full support of state and local governments using the bible as a handbook.

Humans marrying dogs will cut down on population, since reproduction isn’t technically possible. This will cut down on the number of gay babies born state-wide.

North Carolina as a state isn’t against all non-traditional marriages. You can marry your blood relatives if you wish, because having more retarded offspring in the system leads to more educational funding. It also leads to packs of mountain people living up in the wilderness and awesome movies like Wrong Turn 4: Deadly Crossroads.

Have you ever seen a hot woman that was born in North Carolina? When you saw her, did you see her smile? At least dogs generally have all their teeth.

North Carolina values its heterosexuality, and there is nothing better than a pair of tits. Except Read more…