Posts tagged ‘Manhunt’
This weekend was too insane for a complete step-by-step recap(since it was 4 days long and I only remember about 12 hours). Also, most of the parties involved would not want their offenses listed because what happens in Fire Island stays in Fire Island. Exceptions to this rule are STD’s and Ticks.
So I have decided to make an anonymous list of things we did and things we witnessed:
One of us broke into a store at 3 am and had sex behind the cash register attempting to use spit as lube (an unsuccessful attempt since spit and latex don’t mix. They are like Katy Perry and strapless bras. Or Katy Perry and integrity.
Even the Sveltest of the svelte go through dry spells. A dry spell is when your vargina/asshole becomes so stale from disuse that when you finally do get laid bats fly out of your orifice and frighten your interstate trick into premature ejaculation. Has it been a while for you? Don’t fret. Follow this advice:
1. Go to a bathhouse. Most bathhouses have some kind of color coding system where if you are wearing a red towel you are DTF and if you are wearing a white towel you are just looking. Basically red towel=honest, white towel=lying to himself/tiny dick. I say just take your clothes off and do the Helicocktor to everyone you see. One of them will eventually be mesmerized by your undulating member and follow you to one of the “recreation rooms.” If you need advice on the Helicocktor, send me an email. I am an expert.
Today’s model of perfection is brought to us through the magic of trick photography. No, that isn’t when you snap a photo of the trick passed out in your bed, ’cause your friends won’t believe you scored such a hottie unless they see proof. It also doesn’t refer to getting some guy you picked up in the bar (or some other public place) to take photos of you for your Manhunt, Grindr, Adam4Adam, BigMuscle, DudesNude, etc (did I miss any?) profiles.