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Posts tagged ‘making friends’


How To Stop Being A Dick, Win Friends, And Influence People

July 9, 2012

I think self-knowledge is a super important thing. In the span of your lifetime, the person you will be spending the most time with is you, so you really have no excuse for not getting to know yourself. I won’t lie–once you get inside your own head¬† you will have to face some of the ugly shit inside. Maybe you used to murder guinea pigs when you were a kid. Maybe as a teenager, you gave yourself an abortion by watching too many episodes of Thats So Raven. Maybe you are insecure, or bitchy, or envious, or all of the above. Whatever it is, you will never be able to get over it/fix it if you don’t first face it.

I am insensitive. That’s my thing. I have been told this in every relationship I have ever been in, including those that only lasted 30 minutes on the side of a freeway below the Mason Dixon line. Considerate things like opening doors, remembering birthdays, or pissing on someone when they are on fire just don’t occur to me naturally. I finally had to ask my friends what they considered my biggest flaw in order to let it sink in. Then, I was able to modify my behavior a little for the sake of my relationships. The moral of the story is, I didn’t even realize I was being a dick. Until I discovered that, there was Read more…

Psychology: Does Your Inner Child Think You Are A Schmuck?

May 2, 2012

If your inner child could see you today, what would they say? I think mine would probably high-five me right on the ass and tell me that I am doing a great job at drinking and whoring, but I should probably try and find a man to tame me, before my tits hit the ground in a gravity competition with my balls.

The most important relationship we have is the one we cultivate with ourselves. This can be a self-deprecating or negative relationship. In my case it is predominantly positive and possibly delusional. I basically look at myself in the mirror every day like one of the colored maids from the help and say: “You is kind. You is smart. You is important. People enjoy cocking around with you.”¬† You should spend some time to think about the relationship you have created with yourself though, because it adversely affects your relationships with all other people.

If you are normally pretty hard on yourself and you constantly find yourself in difficult shituations, you have to ask yourself if the way you perceive yourself could be the culprit.

If you think that you are amazing and awesome, but everyone else relates to you as an asshole, then maybe you decided long ago to lie to yourself. You should examine that. I should examine that.

There are many ways to relate to yourself. Some of them are healthy, and some of them will probably be the death of you. The first step is to decide what kind of life you want (maybe think about what kind of life you wanted as a child) and then relate to yourself as a person that deserves that kind of life.

Then toast to your inner child and kill all its memories with some a Robitussin/Valium cocktail.

[ via TheLuxurySpot ]