Posts tagged ‘keeping up with the kardashians’
This post is really meant to address all our straight female readers. Gay guys are already aware of the awesomeness of the ass. Lesbians, in their essence are assholes, and straight probably don’t read this site. If they do, they have probably had a finger or two up the old pooper. This post is for straight girls, mean to enlighten them in the joys and pleasures of the asshole.
If you have never done anal sex, you should consider it. If you don’t, your boyfriend will probably dump you after he gets tired of your vagina. The asshole is a great secondary option for you, and something you can bring out on special occasions and holidays, like a fine Chinese export tea service. You can use your asshole to reward your boyfriend for doing super-special things, like Read more…
“She isn’t allowed back in New York after climbing the Empire State Building and nearly destroying Manhattan. She cost a lot of taxpayers a lot of money.”
-the Mayor of New York
I know we make a lot of fun of Khloe Kardashian around here, but honestly that is just because we think she is a beastly human being. The truth is though, that beastly human beings are sometimes the most awesome, as evidenced by her performance on any of the Kardashian reality shows and one of our best writers, Julia Ozimek. I always say that Julia is what would happen if a carburetor and a Wildebeest could mate, but quite frankly she is one of the funniest people I know. So here is a short list of facts about Khloe Kardashian:
She is built like a Decepticon.
God created most women from Adam’s rib bone, but he created Khloe from Adam’s Ford F-150.
The world was actually supposed to end on 11-11-11, but it didn’t because it was scared she would eat it.
The movie Planet of the Apes was based on the story of Khloe’s birth. Then she found a lady bic razor and bought a $40 yaki wig. Read more…