Posts tagged ‘kate walsh’
I never really understood Dragonfly’s. Even as a kid I loved them because they were easy to catch (haha, my how these behaviors have bled into my adult life) but my mother always told me they while they were the most poisonous insects in the world, their mouths were too small to bite me. This is not the most absurd thing my mother ever said. I can’t sleep with my legs hanging off a bed because the oolie goolie monsters will apparently slash my achilles tendons in the night.But I digress.
Dragonfly’s have no need for four wings–it just creates the need for a longer body. Which then makes them look like a dick. Which is actually the only part of a dragonfly that I am okay with.
There are several instances where I think god was either high or overworked and cracked out on diet pills(because Im sure even god has to watch his weight to stay in shape for Mrs. God –platypuses, anglerfish, Kate Walsh and dragonflys. It’s like those projects you work on where you just keep adding more and more and then give up and hit the submit button.
Which is exactly what I am going to do now.
Things That Creep Me The Fuck Out: Vanessa Hudgens
From now on we are calling her Hudgey–because it is a name as strange, filthy, and unappealing as her. Also it rhymes with pudgy–which I am reasonably sure she would be if she weren’t on a strict diet of denial about Zac Efron’s sexuality. In this photo she looks like an aging post-op tranny that bought their wig at a swap meet and can’t even afford bootleg collagen. Seriously I don’t trust people that don’t have lips. She reminds me of the rectum of a brown recluse. Read more…
I have a question about Schwinter Depression
I don’t care what a furry little land beaver that lives in a hole underground has to say. If there are six more weeks of winter, I will personally walk right up to Mother Nature, slap her in the tits, shove 6 Ambien in her mouth, put a ziplock bag over her head and dump her off of the end of the gay Pier into the Hudson. (I heard she lives in a walkup in Chelsea anyway)
But seriously, Winter Depression is a real thing. I know this because it happens to me every winter, and I never realize what it is until it is almost over. The good news is that there is a cure! Read more…
