Posts tagged ‘homeless person’
I woke up today next to a tranny, went to brush my teeth, and realized my tongue was blue. At first I thought I was finally reaching my goal of literally transforming into Vanity Smurf (if Smurfs had dicks he would be the gang-bang champion of Smurf-ville) but then I realized that I drunk-bought seven boxes of Flavor Ice the other day at Walgreens and apparently drunk-ate all seven of them.
We started the night at The Ritz for $5 martinis. Club Promoter Nadia E, the “girl” who is in all my recent Hangover diaries photos had her first Thursday party, and I can honestly say that there was more than 10 people I would cock there. That is saying something. The music was awesome, the guys were hot, and there were fucking hamburger sliders. That’s all I’m saying. Our favorite bartender downstairs makes these insane drinks that I call Papa Smurf’s Revenge (Blue Moon and Blueberry Stoli. Also the reason I puked at work last week) so needless to say my ongoing bid to drink less did.not.happen.
Its Fleet Week here, so there were tons of hot Military guys all around. Every time I saw a hot guy I was Read more…
I have to be honest, there have only been a few homeless guys over the years that I have thought about doing sexuals with. They were all young and attractive, and the fact that they were probably desperate enough to do anything for money made it that much hotter. But regarding the photo inserted above: I don’t really like the direction in which this is heading. On the right, William H Macy plays Frank Gallagher in Shameless on Showtime wherein he is basically a deadbeat dad serious alcoholic with like 30 kids who runs around town borrowing money and getting into mischief. On the left, we have Brad Pitt who is one of Hollywoods most sought after dicks, a serious pothead with like 30 kids who runs around town making lesser men feel bad about themselves and women’s vaginas so moist that you could drown a toddler in their granny panties.
The problem here is that I am not seeing one hell of a difference. Hobo chic is not attractive, and unlike skinny jeans, it will never grow on me. Mary Kate Olsen can pull it off because nobody wants to see her skeletal ass wearing a camisole and smart leggings because it would look like a chain-smoking, coffee drinking Jiminy Cricket with a tape-worm. I realize they have been doing the whole hobo-chic thing in Williamsburg for the longest time, but that is why nobody wants to go to Brooklyn. Because it smells like hobo ass.
This hobo-chic trend that Brad Pitt is perpetuating needs to stop before we all end up living in refrigerator boxes and jerking off into stolen Starbucks cups in the public bathrooms.