Posts tagged ‘HIV’
We have all been there on multiple occasions. Whether you start the night with one type of liquor and just decide that you don’t mind if the night descends into madness, or you just don’t have any money and are so desperate that you find yourself drinking cooking sherry, we have all mixed liquors. And not all of us lived to tell the tale. So here is a handy guide so you know what to expect.
Champagne and anything else: A splitting headache the next morning that feel like Dane Cook is hate-fucking your brain with a Cutco kitchen knife. Followed by a forehead so sweaty that sorority girls could wrestle on it wearing nothing but cotton boy shorts that say clever things like slut and easy.
Vodka and Whiskey: Expect to be bending over the toilet at the end of the night after a few hot flashes where your face turned so red it looked like Lindsay Lohan’s asshole after a booty bump. There will also probably be some sort of bar altercation at some point where you get angry over nothing and end up crying in the bathroom stall about how you just love too much.
Beer and Wine: Ever had one of those drunken buzzes that just wasn’t any fun? Besides feeling so bloated that you have to unbuckle not only your belt, but the belts of people around you, the wine is going to make you tired. Mixing beer and wine turns you into a fat, sluggish slob. Who wants to Read more…
What happens when you combine jellyfish DNA with feline DNA? I’ll give you a hint, the answer is NOT Carnie Wilson…. the answer is glow in the dark cats! Scientists have produced a cat that is resistant to FIV (Feline Immunodeficiency Virus), in hopes that one day this will lead to finding a cure for HIV. However, the most important thing I have learned from this story is that there are glow in the dark cats out there! The possibilities are endless…
I for one would do away with those annoying tap lights; a glow-cat is much more trendy and you never need to replace its batteries. And how many times have you wanted to go to a rave, but couldn’t find your glow sticks? Now, you can just grab your glow-cat and get to steppin’. Glow-cats are the next big thing: bigger than the Macarena, bigger than the tamagotchi, even bigger than the waistline of 80’s era Oprah. I think its time for those selfish scientists to stop hogging all of the cats and let us have some fun!
Let’s not beat around the bush boys (and I mean that literally and figuratively)… the difference between a hot encounter and a SIZZLING one is great lube. I’ll go so far as to even suggest that bad lube is a reason to kick a trick outta bed: I ain’t gonna get off when my balls stick to your a*s after every thrust, so let’s move on! But before I reveal the “top performers”, let me let you know how I tested these out:
In a valiant attempt to reduce the numbers of HIV infection (Hotdog Immunodeficiency Virus) in Oriental countries, Asian political officials have started putting these warning signs on Hotdog carts everywhere.
Hilarious Sidebar–the word hotdog actually originated in the countries of the far East. If you don’t know why, please visit several of the states below the Mason Dixon line and don’t come back until you think black people are lazy, asian people can’t drive, latino people steal, middle eastern people terrorize, Canadian people live in igloos (the only one that is actually true) and white people are the demographic majority in the world at large.
Call me a prude, (or downright refuse to believe this if you want) But I don’t really like to arrange sex beforehand. (i.e. hookup sites or grindr etc). I’m not going to say I have never done it or will never do it again, but generally I prefer my sex to happen the old fashioned way. By meeting out somewhere, making out sloppily, groping each other in the streets in front of cops, and mutually deciding to end the night in Pound Town.
Obviously it isn’t that I am afraid of cocking a stranger. It’s just that arranging it all beforehand takes all the enjoyment and spontaneity out of it. It’s a little like the arranged marriages of some call center-heavy countries we shall not name. (read: India). Here is why. Read more…
I found this precious gem while trolling the internet for porn. It reminded me of a simpler time when people wore primary colors in daylight hours, and the bottoms of your sneakers lit up when you walked.
Then I got to thinking about how Gay, Straight, and Lesbian relationships differ.
I couldn’t help but make a few revisions… Read more…