Posts tagged ‘dunkin donuts’
I really don’t suggest lighting yourself on fire, unless of course you’re about to step in to see Tom Cruise try to act in “Mission Impossible.” In NYC it’s hard to stay warm at times especially when you have the wind cutting down alleys and off the river. Many people are uninformed of how to stay properly warm. And the gays tend to care more about fashion than warmth. Here are some useful tips to keep warm:
2. Drink A LOT of Liquor. Seriously, if you’re trashed you won’t even care about the cold weather and liquor warms your body up. You seriously have a reason to get trashed now every time you step outside!
3. If you don’t drink, get a hot chocolate at Dunkin’ Donuts. That does the job too.
4. Travel with a group and bundle together.
5. Hot Sex. You’ll need to go outside and cool off after this.
6. Don’t wear fur, wear a down jacket if anything.
7. Get Fat
8. Run don’t walk. Yeah the wind might suck but you’ll get exercise and heat up naturally.
9. Don’t go near the Hudson River or down alleys.
10. Go Dancing! The minute you walk out of a club, you’re going to be relieved after dancing for hours.
If you have anymore advice, then please add it in your comments. We would love to hear!
The Holidays are upon us and there is no point in trying to fight off the calorie-packed foods that will soon be shoved into our faces forcefully by an overly-joyful Auntie Gertrude and her gingerbread minions.
But we can at least try and avoid drinks that will plump, you, up (that was said in the voice of Arnold Schwarzenegger if you didn’t catch that). Check out the top 10 most fattening holiday drinks below.
I just got back from spending 4 days in Maine. The trip started well enough–with me jumping up from bed blackout drunk at 7:40 AM with no alarm set and no packed bags–next to a topless tranny houseguest. This would have been commonplace if I hadn’t needed to catch a bus at 9 AM. So naturally I vomited in the kitchen sink twice and threw a bunch of shit in a bag for Maine. I went to get on a train but realized I needed to throw up again. SO I jumped in a cab and lay down in the back to take a 15 minute nap. After exiting the cap I promptly went into a Dunkin Donuts to puke again, but there was no bathroom. I threw up in a trash can on 9th ave in front of a troop of kids. Let me preface this by saying this: I normally don’t get this drunk. I know I play myself off to be a huge drinker, and that is because I am a huge drinker. I can hold my liquor. I’m not a child, or a hyper christian 18 year old joining her first sorority, or Kim Richards. So the fact that I can’t remember anything about the labor day night except a rooftop party and sucking hard at foosball means that I was actually in rare form. Also I had a suspect injury on my chin that I have no recollection of. Read more…