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Posts tagged ‘drag queens’

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The Hangover Diaries: Butt Pirates, Mexican Wrestlers, Threesomes, and Rooftop Parkour

May 21, 2012

Let me first start off by saying that I woke up this morning to realize I have a sprained ankle. I sprained it yesterday at 4 PM. I am pretty sure walking around and climbing down buildings didn’t do anything to help the situation.

We got started early this weekend. Nadia is staying Harlem right now so every weekend she has been moving in and being the perfect little tranny house guest. I pulled a hairball out of the drain yesterday that was bigger than both of Sandra Bernhard’s Haireolas combined. All you have to to do is take one look at that swarthy jewish queen to realize her nipples rival the size of Thanksgiving dinner platters. The other aspect to Nadia’s occupy fidi movement is that she never brings any clothes, so we have to make her something new to wear every night. A gallery of her fashions to follow.

The weekend started at Old Sichuan, in Chinatown. The service here is absolutely deplorable, but its a byob and the food is super cheap. 7 of us got stuff and wasted for $70. We bought orange sodas, but the server took forever to bring glasses (and by forever I mean they never came) so we just dumped a shit ton of vodka into the hot tea they brought us. (PS green apple vodka and hot tea are actually pretty fucking great together). Then we went to Bar 13 for the underwear party. Being a gentleman of a certain age that is going to Gay Days Orlando in a few weeks, I left my clothes on. We got accosted by a drug dealer who resembled Jesse Jackson. Somehow we ended up in Hells Kitchen at The Ritz where we drank beers with shots of vodka in them. DO NOT DO THIS. I woke up the next morning fully clothed and went Read more…

Drag Queens Sing About Chick-Fil-A. Amazing!

May 8, 2012

What could be better than 3 drag queens singing about Chick-Fil-A, I mean really?

 

How To Properly Serve KUNT

January 20, 2012

Let me first say that KUNT has no reference to the “C” word. This type of KUNT describes a much more fierce, impetuous, omnipresent type of mannerism that is somewhat overpowering and awe inspiring. Serving KUNT is better left to professionals like drag queens, fierce bitches or trannies that are capable of handling KUNT. KUNT must be handled with care. If there’s too much KUNT being thrown around, things will get out of control rather quickly and well we just don’t want that. KUNT must have a look. If there is not look to go with the KUNT, then your KUNT will not come off as fierce as it should. KUNT must be used properly when talking about it in sentences otherwise you might offend someone. Saying something like “You’re a KUNT” would not be cute at all. Rather, one should say “Gurl, you’re giving me KUNT today and I’m loving it.” KUNT in that context is not seen negatively.

I’d like to give two hypothetical situations that have empirical research to back their findings. One situation will show how to properly serve a normal amount of KUNT according to statistical data. The other situation will Read more…

Drag Queens Arrested in Florida for Stealing Sequins

September 19, 2011

This story truly speaks for itself, so I will just give it to ya straight.

A band of traveling gypsy drag queens have been arrested in Orlando, Florida (of course) because they were stealing many drag-related items from local fabric stores across the state. Their pilfering finally came to an end when they were discovered at none other than Jo-ann Fabrics stuffing the following items into their handbags: Five packs of black feathers, two packs of red feathers, two packs of red lace gloves, two packs of black red lace gloves, eyelashes, five bra pads, five butt pads, five gel inserts, three other handbags, two boas, three pairs of costume glasses, and ten bandannas.

After reading this story I had flashbacks to my college days with Gary and Nick Mac driving home with eye-liner flying out if the back seat of my 94 Toyota Corolla. Then after my flashbacks ended I realized how truly proud I am to be a Floridian.

Skinny Insecure Bitchy Gay Guys

March 21, 2011

I recently ran into a few friends that I sort of knew in Chelsea. It was a beautiful afternoon and I was just standing around staring that the Hudson listening to Ambient music because the energy pill I had taken was making me feel cracked out. So these guys show up–and one in particular (who I don’t know so well) is a gorgeous guy. Physically he was what a lot of people aspire to be. He had a good body and an attractive face.

There was another gay guy a little farther down the way practicing dancing/cheerleading tricks and stretches etc. The guy I was with spent no less than 20 minutes tearing the other guy apart from the paleness of his skin to his technique (which I thought was pretty good, but I’m no Kirstie Alley or Johnny Weir)

I couldn’t help but think of how ridiculous it was that this attractive young gay guy was expending so much energy trying to put someone else down for no reason other than his own insecurity.

So I just want to say this. Human beings in general should spend more time building each other up and congratulating each other for our accomplishments. And to you sad little scene queen gays that think your entire life revolves around how many drag queens you know–do yourself a favor and take a good long look in the mirror and learn to appreciate what you have got. Because otherwise you will spend your entire lives tearing everyone else apart and never realize your own potential until it’s gone.

It literally made me sad that this kid’s insecurity was branded on his face like a house of Dereon tag on some copper studded jeans.