Posts tagged ‘diabetes’
Jessica Simpson Gives Birth To Paula Deen’s Diabetes
The day that everyone has been waiting for since Jessica Simpson first started gaining weight in 1999 has finally arrived. The most talented singer of all time has given birth to Paula Deen’s diabetes. I don’t know about you, but I picture Paula Deen and Jessica Simpson sitting around on the back porch of their uncle’s F-150 eating Tex Mex fried in butter and drinking industrial size recycling bins full of Diet Pepsi.
Friends Should Tell Friends When They Get Fat
So at a party last night, two of my friends cornered me (after I ate about 350,000 salt and vinegar chips and licked the bowl) and informed me that in my last relationship, I gained a little weight.
Come again? Aren’t you about 6 months too late? It got me to thinking that if your friends don’t tell you that you are getting fat, who will? Read more…
PBAW (pissing/bathrooms/around/world:East Village
As a kid I was blessed to own the huge box of crayons. 144 glorious colors. So I will always know that this wall is cerulean blue, not cornflower blue, liberty blue, or frozen witchsnatch blue.
Frozen witchsnatch blue is the color of my diabetes.
