Posts tagged ‘christina aguilera drunk’
Christina Aguilera was recently arrested for public intoxication. If you want the full story BING it because this is not a news site. The real story here is that Christina Aguilera is about two children and one tramp stamp away from becoming Britney Spears. She has been playing this game since she was a tween, the only real differences between them being that Christina is talented and Britney is somehow more subtle regarding her sexuality.
I have no idea what it is like to be drunk in public since I am strictly a wine coolers man myself, but I imagine it went something like this:
Cop: I am being re-routed to respond to a disturbance call of an obese woman being drunk and disorderly at a Churchs Chicken.
Other Cop: Oh no–not Precious again!
Cop: No, from what I understand this woman was skinny when she walked in the door, but obese by the time she got to the counter. She also ordered her food acapella, but somehow messed up the words.
Other Cop: Janet Jackson?
Cop: Nope. I am at Churches now. I can see through the window–it looks like a mix between Carnie Wilson and Ricki Lake dipped in bleach.
Other Cop: Oh, its Christina Aguilera, fuckwad.
Cop: Is it sad that I’d still hit it?