Posts tagged ‘chris ryan’
Where To Go: The Cove At 49 Grove Re-Opens Tonight!
I don’t normally write about parties because chances are, if you live in New York your Facebook inbox is constantly stuffed harder than Chris Ryan’s boyfriend with invites to various party nights and events. I am writing about Cove at Grove 49 because I have a lot of fond memories of it. Not only is it an underground speakeasy (emphasis on easy) but it has open bars, which to me is basically like a little slice of Heaven’s taint.
Presented by Kevin Wiltz & Frank Carrasquillo, hosted by Lucio Abruzzi , Demanda Dahling, Rowell Adrian, & Adrianna Le Glam, and full of (from what I remember) hot guys and chic girls. It is less of a “stand and model” party and more of an “anything goes” event, which is right up my alley. I don’t know if you have ever been hosted by Rowell Adrian, but he is super gracious and a blast to be around. I always go to his parties, so you should to. Its in the bible.
Anyway, maybe I will see some of you fuckers there tonight. If I do, I’ll buy you a drink as long as its during open bar and you pay for the tip and possibly give me a bathroom blowie.
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Let me first start off by saying that I woke up this morning to realize I have a sprained ankle. I sprained it yesterday at 4 PM. I am pretty sure walking around and climbing down buildings didn’t do anything to help the situation.
We got started early this weekend. Nadia is staying Harlem right now so every weekend she has been moving in and being the perfect little tranny house guest. I pulled a hairball out of the drain yesterday that was bigger than both of Sandra Bernhard’s Haireolas combined. All you have to to do is take one look at that swarthy jewish queen to realize her nipples rival the size of Thanksgiving dinner platters. The other aspect to Nadia’s occupy fidi movement is that she never brings any clothes, so we have to make her something new to wear every night. A gallery of her fashions to follow.
The weekend started at Old Sichuan, in Chinatown. The service here is absolutely deplorable, but its a byob and the food is super cheap. 7 of us got stuff and wasted for $70. We bought orange sodas, but the server took forever to bring glasses (and by forever I mean they never came) so we just dumped a shit ton of vodka into the hot tea they brought us. (PS green apple vodka and hot tea are actually pretty fucking great together). Then we went to Bar 13 for the underwear party. Being a gentleman of a certain age that is going to Gay Days Orlando in a few weeks, I left my clothes on. We got accosted by a drug dealer who resembled Jesse Jackson. Somehow we ended up in Hells Kitchen at The Ritz where we drank beers with shots of vodka in them. DO NOT DO THIS. I woke up the next morning fully clothed and went Read more…
I am just now getting out of bed at 1: 30 PM if that is any indication of how last night went. Lately i’ve been on a kick where I want to do different things and hang out with different people, so needless to say I went out at 11:30 last night stone cold sobes.
That didn’t last long.
Nadia is talking to this DJ guy, who is actually pretty fucking awesome. The thing I love about being friends with a girl (and I use that term loosely since she has a penis) is that their boyfriends always feel the need to be chivalrous. That translates to free drinks. I got faced pretty early on.
We started at Ninth Avenue Saloon for cheap drinks where I was able to parlay my nipples hanging out of my tank top into good bar service. I met up with a guy who I hooked up with 9 years ago from Florida, so it was basically a double date except me and Nadia were having too much fun with each other and left the boys out. Then we went to the Ritz, which was fucking packed and played great music. We met up with Chris Ryan, Nathan Kelly and JoeLee from the Boys group, and I had a champagne shot which is against my rules, since mixing champagne and liquor basically guarantees my brain will feel like a 5’3″porn star’s vagina after a big black bukkake gang-bang. Nadia was pretty much giving her guy a blowie on the dance floor when she wasn’t break-dancing to dub-step. We stopped by Posh to basically pee in the corner and ended up at Industry, which is normally a black hole that sucks us in every weekend, but since I haven’t been there in a while it counts as doing something different.
Can I just say that the cunty bartenders at Industry can kiss my puckered asshole?
I guess I can say it, because I just did.
Then, Nadia and I ditched the guys in favor of breaking into a construction site and Read more…
Let me start of by saying that my new roomate doesn’t have a job just yet (he just moved here). So since I work from home we spend a lot of time together nowadays and sometimes we get a little stir crazy. Sometimes we paint faces on volleyballs and talk to them, form tribes and murder fat kids named Piggy and break down bathrooms with axes to kill our manorexic wives. So we decided to go out last night.
We started of at Calypso, which is on the rooftop of XVI (where highbar was last summer).
