Posts tagged ‘cheerleading’

I was going to label this post: Unequivocal evidence that cheerleaders are pussies, but I couldn’t. The truth is not all cheerleaders are pussies, and I fully recognize that cheerleading is a difficult sport. (and by cheerleading I am referring to the few parts of it that don’t involve cheering–such as the tumbling part.)

Okay, pretty much just the tumbling part. But regardless cheerleaders are athletes and I do respect that. BUT I TRIED. I TRIED not to post this. I thought about how wrong it might be to make fun of this poor girl–then I realized that cheerleading stunts your growth so she is probably actually 36 years old. And when I took a look at those Queen Helene plasticized glossy curls and that Amy Swinehouse liquid liner I really had no choice, did I?

And the chola beside her–whose eyebrows are basically trying to shoot off his face and hide in the land of the donkeypunch (back of his head) to escape his face, whose coloration can only be described as burnt sienna. I had heard that Jesse McCartney was still alive. But I didn’t know his singing career had gone so awry that he resorted to this. Oh well, at least his skin has cleared up.

And then we get to this heartfelt message. (and by heartfelt I mean vagina-felt).

It speaks for itself. Please note the cheerleading puns.

All I am going to say is don’t put this online if you don’t want people like me to swoop in like bitchy little vultures and rip it apart.

And DONT drop the spirit stick. Or you will go to HADES.