Posts tagged ‘bulldyke’
In Obvious News, Julia Used To Be A Little Boy
As if it wasn’t 100% more obvious than a watermelon stand in Bed Stuy, it has recently been revealed that Julia used to be a little boy. Growing up in the backwoods of Thonotosassa, Fl wasn’t easy for such a masculine little boy, and Julia fell into the societal pressures of drinking, riding dirtbikes and scissoring bulldykes at a very young age. She can be seen here in this footage, practicing her O Face on National TV while a jogging Hilary Clinton morphs into a walking Obama in the background.
Bet that blew your mind, didn’t it? Julia’s intense muff-diving skills will too.
Anyone who has ever been close me knows that April Fools Day is the only holiday I take seriously. Its a time for mischief making,bamboozling, bootswaggling, and emotional manipulation. This year I decided to start early as most of my friends are wise to my tricks–so last night at 2 AM I sent out a mass text saying I had an infected tooth and was going to the ER. (the key to a good prank is to inject a bit of the truth. I actually do have a problematic tooth and if karma exists I most likely will die of an infected blood stream). If Gloganvlog randomly shuts down like Chris Brown’s career you will know why.
The award this year for most awesome response goes to Julia. Her wildebeest ass smelled bullshit for brunch from the getgo, and she was not hungry.
The award for most gullible goes to Yellow-a girl who has known me since high school and should have know better.
The Rookie of the Queer award goes to Bryce, for retaliating in jewish anger.
After the jump are various screenshots of my other hijinx, including some from last year. Enjoy irresponsibly.
Saturday was a Brooklyn shitshow the likes of which I have never remembered. My friend Hambone was in town this weekend–a girl that knew me since 6th grade. A girl that was around when I got my first bowl cut, we celebrated when our home-town first got a GAP, we climbed trees together and she taught me how to shave my armpits–since I had no father around to teach me such things. She was in town for one night only–and we spent it traipsing around Brooklyn. There are some VERY embarrassing pics after the jump. Enjoy. Read more…
1. Mustaches. I don’t understand what, if anything has ever been attractive about a mustache. The only two times I have been attracted to a guy with a mustache was when it was an ironic pornstache grown as a tribute to famous 70′s pornstaches everywhere (seen on a genuine Williamsburg Hipster) , and when it was on a bulldyke who wanted to seduce me just to prove that she could. (and she did)
2. Sharon Stone. Because growing up in a time when the standard for hot is a coked up skeletal man-eater with teeth in her vagina is the stuff of nightmares.
