Several Ways Jesus Was Like A Gay Guy
He was ostracized from his community because he was different. Then he got nailed, hard.
He had a rough week, then slept for three days straight. Basically me after Gay Days, The White Party, or Labor Day weekend at Fire Island.
He surrounded himself with 12 men. Just look at the Facebook profile of any gay guy for a modern, shirtless redux of the 12 apostles. Or disciples. Or whatever. I never actually read the bible, I just skimmed a few Amazon reviews.
He wore a dress. Granted, it was a little more coverage than I would prefer- you should make a choice between showcasing decolletage, legs, or arms and stick to it but people were a lot more conservative back in medieval times when he lived.
He had a bitchin beard. If Jesus walked around town in the Castro, bears everywhere would sniff some poppers and fall to their knees in supplication.
He hung out with prostitutes. Gay’s worship Lady Gaga, who is the queen of all hookers. Coincidence?
His dad wasn’t really in the picture. Do you know how many times his mother Mary caught him in her closet, dancing around in her Loubs, wearing pomegranate juice as lipstick and spritzing himself with frankincense?
His mother’s name was Mary. There is no evidence more compelling than this.
And that’s religion. Boom.
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