RuPaul’s New Drag Queens Will Beat You Then Eat You
January 31, 2012
I’m serious guys. I watched the interviews with each of the drag race contestants. I’m going to give you a quick rundown before you even watch episode 2 of this season of drag disg-race.
1. Jiggly Caliente
Jiggly Caliente is definitely jiggly, but as for the caliente….I guess she adds hot sauce to the audience members that she consumes?
2. Chad Michaels
I was unaware Hulk Hogan‘s ex-wife, Linda Hogan was going to be in this season’s race. She’s going under the moniker Chad Michaels (maybe after her new 17 y/o boyfriend?)
3. Kenya Michaels
Well I mean…that’s cool I guess. I think the Oompa Loompa‘s spoke English better though (oh and their make-up was better too).
4. Sharon Needles
Oh my. This really is the child of Marilyn Monroe and Charles Manson. I really can’t even make fun of this one. The Hannibal Lecter of drag queens.
5. Madame LeQueer
Delta Burke is back and this time she has a Puerto Rican accent! She’s preparing for her new show; Re-Designing Women
6. Latrice Royal
She actually did eat three of last year’s contestants (hence why you haven’t seen them). This is her ready to strike a meal (not a pose). Have you heard her talk? She sounds like Lamar Odom.
7. Lashauwn Beyond
I mean maybe the rumors are true about LeBron James being gay? I always saw the inner drag queen in him.
Thankfully there are a few saving graces. The Princess, Milan, Wilam and Alisa Summers seem to be promising.
Well looks like I won’t be booking any of these queens at any of my events! Ha!
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