Reasons That I Hate Gary

First of all, because he made a blog today titled “Reasons I hate Zooey Deschanel” and any enemy of hers is an enemy of mine. But I have more reasons….

The next reason being is… look at him. I mean really. Look at the guy. I don’t even know if he’s mexican. He doesn’t even know if he’s mexican.

There was also that time he and I had partaken in the herbal supplement and he decided to give me a makeover. After about 35 minutes (it was probably really two minutes, but who the fuck can tell time when they’re high?) of him putting foundation all over my face. I looked in the mirror and he had given me black face. Yeah, black face. something like this:

Next was the time he and I had been pulling an all night rage-a-thon and drinking roughly 80,00 shots etc. I then tripped over a log while I was walking because I’m a clumsy fucking moron. He just happened to be peeing at the same time….so he turned and peed on my head. HE PEED ON MY FUCKING HEAD.

Who does that!? I’ll tell you who. The asshole pictured above sporting a cameltoe in speedos. (not black face, black face may actually be a really nice guy)

Gary is not to be trusted. Especially if you fall or are in any way inebriated. Like the time he mouth raped on New Years after making out with  a man named Spike wearing a cape.