Muff Diving: The Home Field Advantage
Now, I don’t just mean gay guys. I mean straight guys too. They may not WANT to give a blow job. But, if I’m a bettin’ woman, I would put my money on the fact that any guy would out blow me on a skin flute. Because I don’t know what it feels like to be a guy.
If I can admit that, then guys should be able to accept the fact that it’s one in the same. You are not going to know your way around a clit better than me. Have you ever seen straight porn?
What the fuck are they doing? It’s not cake batter, you don’t need to whirl it around for 3-5 minutes. Just because you’re moving your mouth fast doesn’t even mean you’re in the right god damn place.
I’m not saying this because I feel like I am some master of the arts. In all reality, I don’t even like going down. It’s boring. But if I’m going to do it, then I’m going to do it well. Statistics show that 70% of women have faked orgasms. By statistics, I mean google. We all know the internet would never lie. So, there is a strong chance that although your girlfriend claimed she got off, she actually was just tired of you biting at her vagina like a wildebeest and wanted to get back to watching Gossip Girl.
I’m not trying to deflate your egos…
Okay, yes I am.