Mancandy: I Would Stick It In Tom Brady’s Retarded Butt (Chin)

Lets be 100% honest here: Tom Brady is giving us the “Gilbert Grape I am not even smart enough to rape you” eyes, and sadly it is his only look. Maybe it is because he recently lost big to the New York Giants at Madonna’s concert. Maybe its because he married an 8 foot tall Brazillian tranny that never washes her hair. Maybe, its because he is just plain retarded. Regardless of the reason, I just want to put my actual butthole against his butt chin and do kegels together, forever, until either the Patriots win the Superbowl, or Madonna dates someone her own age. Whichever comes first (Personally I am rooting for the Patriots since the only person as old as Madonna was nailed to a cross and left to die a few eons ago).

If you are reading this site, you probably have impeccable taste and agree with me that Tom Brady is a sweet piece of ass. If you disagree about him being retarded however, I have unequivocal evidence. After the jump.

Exhibit A): Evidence that he is retarded. What self-respecting man in full possession of all his mental faculties lets some broke ass hoe at Cost Cutters with press-on acrylics named Tanisha give him a full on Cynthia Nixon? If you ask me, this is Giselle’s evil plan to keep his dick in his jock-strap.

Exhibit B): Evidence that he is hot. If you can’t see that then you must be on a braile computer. And if that is the case you should probably get off Gloganvlog and go learn how to give a decent beej. You can make a lot of money in this world if you aren’t able to see the person you are blowing.